Forgiveness, Demons and Love

You  lived inside you’re own
Crazy world.
You were my hero, when I was just a little girl.
As I grew older,my eyes began to open wide.
At that time, I thought you were just cruel and mean.
Now I realize, you were confused, demented, delusional,
And tormented inside.
Though at times, I still feel angry,
I’m still trying to forgive.
My life has always been a free fall, never really knowing where I’m gonna land.
46 years later, still this is the life I live.
I’m trying to play the cards you dealt me, and make a decent hand.
I am scarred , damaged, and lost. often I face each day with a sense of dread.
I fear I shall remain this way until my last words written, are the the last words said.
I no longer blame you, for the things you did, and didn’t do.
I’m raising children of my own now.
Trying my best, not to pass these demons on to them, that I inherited from you!
Now that you are gone,
I truly hope that you’ve found peace.
Me, I’ll struggle through, day by day.
Sedating the insanity, fending off the tiredness beast.
As for my kids, my daughter is grown.
She lives far away and has a life of her own.
She seems to be happy , doing just fine.
But, I know she’s battling her own demons .
Not always but, some of the time.
She is strong, and will break free.
Her demons will shrivel, they will no longer be.
As for my son, he is still very young.
It’s really hard to say, in him I’ve seen the darkness
I truly hope, He’ll catch the light, and never let it slip away. As long as I live and breath,
These two people, I will forever love.
when my lungs cease to fill,
I’ll be loving you both more than the moon,and all of the stars up above.