Personal Experience

It’s so much harder to handle emotional pain than physical pain…

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And I don’t think people realize how much tattoos and self-inflicted pain helps for people like me that don’t know any other outlet. Do I still do it? Well, I don’t cut anymore. I haven’t cut for a while now, but I’ve moved to punching the bag and the wall while working out.

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When I cut, I didn’t cut because I wanted to die or for attention, I would cut to release large amounts of emotional pain that I couldn’t handle. And I did see doctors and psychiatrists to help me, but none of it ever worked. What did work was talking to family and friends, but sometimes there were things I couldn’t talk to anyone about because I felt ashamed for hurting over someone/something in the first place. To this day, I still feel ahamed sometimes...

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So, I bury it and sometimes it comes up and other times, it stays buried. I don’t wish I could stop feeling my emotions, because it’s helped me connect with people on many levels who are my friends now. I just wish emotions didn’t hurt like getting the wind taken out of you, leaving you with a dry mouth and with a dreaded feeling of how small and pathetic you feel.