My love, I looked but could not see,
monsters in our majesty
Hope bearing his sad tragedies,
promising, then betraying me
I cursed him in the worst of grief;
he fled the fool escaping free
Over frail bodies' covering;
I condemned this Hope as mockery.
I searched for him amongst great trees,
he hid himself eluding me.
One little white against the green,
the smallest lie amidst envy
In climbing mountains, touching clouds,
I both whispered and yelled aloud
My efforts, causal-vapors now,
as screams dispersed about your shroud.
Now I walk these rows well followed,
granite facades planted shallow
Where words are prayers, regrets swallowed,
yes, hopes converge in these hollows
Here, those about me fear their dreams,
the downward looking silently.
Their solitude I’ve learned to breathe,
moving on with this memory:
Do you recall that day, my bride?
White birds unseen beside the light?
Tranquil winds as they flew by,
their wings slight breaths as if in sighs
And of that night two children we,
blessed by love our hopes our dreams.
Yet this future we did not perceive
its sewn disease within our weave.
I miss you, now it’s time to go,
I leave you with this Sunday’s rose.
Without regrets, two together chose
Of course, my love I too shall follow
Soon my dear I leave this sorrow
true love I shall once more not borrow
By testing faith in chasing hope’s;
little white birds that come tomorrow.
-
Author:
poelove (
Offline) - Published: February 18th, 2018 07:00
- Comment from author about the poem: Food for thought: Hope is the smallest of lies well disguised within the vanities of envy. \r\nPoem about the loss of a young bride to cancer using the white bird as the metaphor of the other side of hope...its cruelty
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 22
Offline)
Comments3
Very well written! Great rhyme and cadence. I did not get your metaphor until I read your authors note. Very sad indeed!
thank you Christina for taking the time to read and your constructive comment. I shall have to work on clarifying my story so that one doesn't have to read the author notes to understand the metaphor.
thank you
The symbolism of the white birds and the overall personification of hope flowed well, remaining consistent throughout the poem. I definitely enjoyed reading through it, all I'd say for criticism is perhaps a bit of expansion on the bride's troubles. But restating it at the beginning and end did help to achieve the same end.
thank you for your time to read and comment I always look forwards to constructive criticisms as it is the ultimate reason for this sight. very much appreciated!
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