Appearance of the New Courier
(with namesake "Georgia Ives")
flew into the courtroom
faster than Bold face WingDings!
After the judge opened
the waxed sealed envelope stamped
with the official legal imprimatur
sound of silence filled the courtroom.
After perusing highlighted principle details,
a noticeable con jug gay shun
didst Impact countenance of attired judge.
Recess announced at authority decree
(spelled out with quotation marks high
lighting dotted i's and crossed t's)
figuratively a nouns sing moratorium
for those accused of run on sentences,
split infinitives, then versus than...
incorrect usage of ellipses, et cetera.
The justice of supreme court
critically espied quotation marks
(underscoring reductio ad absurdum
Times New Roman regulation)
against stiff penalty asper those
who commit rhetorical perturbations! This lenient fiat occurred immediate
by innocent omission of a colon,
which subsequently, naturally,
and immediately affected
every future jury presiding over
a defendant applying incorrect punctuation! A favorite comma cull anecdote
often repeated by my late english
grammar (a palliative to me psyche
despite the multi-generational
difference in age) happened
when she celebrated fourteen
punctual marks whence time
in utero came to an end period. Many question marks still abound
as per the specific circumstances
of this generally uneventful birth,
only that she seemed to dash
from the womb (of her mother –
mine great grandmother christened
Latina Greco) with a pointed
exclamation declaration
of independence while bodily constitution
adorned with supposedly shimmering
invisible golden braces
and a full set of teeth. Somewhat averse to authoritarianism
and mores of assuming the sir name of the groom, she maintained nom de plume affixed on her birth certificate. If born that way today, and ready to pledge marital vow, would probably follow the common custom and hyphenate name of beau similar to newlyweds of this day and at this very moment. Back in those days though, town’s folk exclaimed with pointed superstition that a baby born after being bracketed nine months within the womb (which seemed like an eternal sentence), and equipped with the means to chew would most likely experience little colon difficulty. As a dignified divine dowager, she willingly shared her cradle to graveside tidbits (populated with many wisecracks and marked quotations from a life
that spanned more than a century21. Smart as a whip or pin (the latter term somewhat out of vogue), this independent woman (who married into nobility from humble roots) frequently evinced el shaped lips when the un suspecting recipient ensnared of her harmless ingenious pranks. Aside from what many considered childlike antics (which characteristic salient trait appealed to this grandson), she excelled at verbal adroitness and could spin a jesting lightly mocking pun, which seemed to quiver with an invisible apostrophe shaped blackened barb. Though privileged per parochial parents, her inherited empire and peers, the people of the proletariat class felt figuratively parenthetically included as persons of concern to this genteel dame. She exemplified and wore that moniker noblesse oblige with utmost august excellence, and whenever the need or wont arose to address the madding crowd (this crowned empress) resorted to non-verbal communication ala semaphore. Her lily-white hands (most often remained sheathed in Palmolive
clad ding silken gloves - exuded a faint patrician touch) partitioned the air with arabesques accentuated with sign language for those among the teeming masses unable to hear or in fact deaf. Regular adherence to being grammatically (yet not necessarily politically) correct witnessed the air being sliced with even less familiar punctuation symbols such as the emdash, en-dash. Even doctorates of English and strict task masters (whose frowning scowls strongly resembled semicolons when even minor indiscretions, infractions, transgressions, et cetera with english language observed) never found fault with this former bohemian, whose rhapsodic, melodic, linguistic voice ameliorated dark memories from dereliction dis played by former queen. She also received the treatment of a champion lyricist, whereby every lyre (got set on fire) from utterance akin to a choir of hells angels, yet this chanteuse voice rang thru the azure vault causing the small hairs of the spine to experience a pleasant electric shock therapy.
lighting dotted i's and crossed t's)
figuratively a nouns sing moratorium
for those accused of run on sentences,
split infinitives, then versus than...
incorrect usage of ellipses, et cetera.
The justice of supreme court
critically espied quotation marks
(underscoring reductio ad absurdum
Times New Roman regulation)
against stiff penalty asper those
who commit rhetorical perturbations! This lenient fiat occurred immediate
by innocent omission of a colon,
which subsequently, naturally,
and immediately affected
every future jury presiding over
a defendant applying incorrect punctuation! A favorite comma cull anecdote
often repeated by my late english
grammar (a palliative to me psyche
despite the multi-generational
difference in age) happened
when she celebrated fourteen
punctual marks whence time
in utero came to an end period. Many question marks still abound
as per the specific circumstances
of this generally uneventful birth,
only that she seemed to dash
from the womb (of her mother –
mine great grandmother christened
Latina Greco) with a pointed
exclamation declaration
of independence while bodily constitution
adorned with supposedly shimmering
invisible golden braces
and a full set of teeth. Somewhat averse to authoritarianism
and mores of assuming the sir name of the groom, she maintained nom de plume affixed on her birth certificate. If born that way today, and ready to pledge marital vow, would probably follow the common custom and hyphenate name of beau similar to newlyweds of this day and at this very moment. Back in those days though, town’s folk exclaimed with pointed superstition that a baby born after being bracketed nine months within the womb (which seemed like an eternal sentence), and equipped with the means to chew would most likely experience little colon difficulty. As a dignified divine dowager, she willingly shared her cradle to graveside tidbits (populated with many wisecracks and marked quotations from a life
that spanned more than a century21. Smart as a whip or pin (the latter term somewhat out of vogue), this independent woman (who married into nobility from humble roots) frequently evinced el shaped lips when the un suspecting recipient ensnared of her harmless ingenious pranks. Aside from what many considered childlike antics (which characteristic salient trait appealed to this grandson), she excelled at verbal adroitness and could spin a jesting lightly mocking pun, which seemed to quiver with an invisible apostrophe shaped blackened barb. Though privileged per parochial parents, her inherited empire and peers, the people of the proletariat class felt figuratively parenthetically included as persons of concern to this genteel dame. She exemplified and wore that moniker noblesse oblige with utmost august excellence, and whenever the need or wont arose to address the madding crowd (this crowned empress) resorted to non-verbal communication ala semaphore. Her lily-white hands (most often remained sheathed in Palmolive
clad ding silken gloves - exuded a faint patrician touch) partitioned the air with arabesques accentuated with sign language for those among the teeming masses unable to hear or in fact deaf. Regular adherence to being grammatically (yet not necessarily politically) correct witnessed the air being sliced with even less familiar punctuation symbols such as the emdash, en-dash. Even doctorates of English and strict task masters (whose frowning scowls strongly resembled semicolons when even minor indiscretions, infractions, transgressions, et cetera with english language observed) never found fault with this former bohemian, whose rhapsodic, melodic, linguistic voice ameliorated dark memories from dereliction dis played by former queen. She also received the treatment of a champion lyricist, whereby every lyre (got set on fire) from utterance akin to a choir of hells angels, yet this chanteuse voice rang thru the azure vault causing the small hairs of the spine to experience a pleasant electric shock therapy.
-
Author:
rew4er2nail (
Offline)
- Published: February 20th, 2018 14:30
- Category: Humor
- Views: 4
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