Time

The time that I've waisted, it's my biggest regret. All that time spent in places I try so hard to forget. Sitting here thinking about all that I've done. The crying, the laughing, The hurt, all the fun. Yet, here I stand with my hard driven guilt. Behind a wall full of emptiness on my own that I built. Wanting to run back, as far as I can. Back to a time without so many demands. But, the chase isn't over. I have nowhere to hide. Everything is gone, along with my pride.
I see my reality as it slaps me dead in my face. I'm scared and alone. I'm stuck in this place. past memories flash through my head. The pain so obvious, through all the tears I have shed. I ask my self why? Where did I go wrong? Have I done something so terrible? Is that what led up to all this hurt going on? My evident answer, I can see it so clear. Where I should have been strong, only my weakness appeared.

Living my life filled with drugs, If I'd had only known. Now my feelings lost, afraid to be shown. As I look to my past. It's now so easily seen. Every time I felt fear, The fear that I felt was of me. I pretend I'm not weak. I pretend to be strong. None of it true, just a mask I've put on. Any strength that I've had has all been long gone.
I'm tired of this endless game. Living a life so wong, without any shame. What my future will hold? Yet, to be seen. I live for a time when I again can be me. I long for the little perfect moments in my dreams that I dream. I hold them close to my heart, Where they will remain to be. I have hope for tomorrow. Cause tomorrow you see. It's bringing a fresh new start for me. 

The times I've waisted, are taking their toll. I hope that I make it. I pray I hold on, not let go. There is no trying. Either I do or I don't. I'll win this battle or I won't. So I'll continue to fight the good fight. I'll do my best to stay strong. I'll keep moving forward in life, I'll keep moving on. So when this storm finally passes, When the dark clouds cease to be. That's when I'll walk in the sunlight, head held high as can be. No longer alone, I'll finally be free.

                                                               By: Melissa Walls