I Find Myself

I find my self dealing with another sleepless night. My thoughts cloud my mind.
I lay here on the cold, hard floor. To my side is the bed where the women i love lyes with another man.
I find my self sinking deeper and deeper into the blackness of the abyss. In this darkness where I can't even find myself i sit waiting for the time to come when my body can no longer keep awake. Forcing its self to sleep.
I find my self haveing unimaginable thoughts of self destruction. I start to feel despair and uneasiness. I start to hope for horrible things. For that I wish that my dreams shall never end, where I am free to live my fantasy's.
I find myself lost in a sea of despair where I start to drown in the thoughts of rejection and loneliness. I have this pain, for that it is not physically but spiritual. My heart and soul both ache for something that I cannot have.
For that on this night I find myself lieing on the floor, next to the bed where my best friend lyes with her love.