Okay

He turned his back.

He shrugged his shoulders.

He gave a half-hearted "okay"

like that was okay.

like what I thought was a waste of human thought

like I was a waste of space.

Like what I felt was a waste of human emotion

like what I was saying was irrational.

Like I was less than.

His turned back said he didn't care.

His shrugged shoulders was a knife in my gut.

And worst of all.

His half-hearted okay made me question myself. 

Was what I thought a waste of human thought?

Was I a waste of space?

Was what I felt a waste of human emotion?

Was what I was saying irrational?

Was I less than him?

These thoughts drifted through my head 

Unwelcome

Unwanted

But there.

So I sat down for I knew my defeat

and I quietly began to weep.

I went home 

and like so many 

I agonized over that one "okay"

and every day it got worse.

My self-esteem plummeted

my heart began to harden

my smile never saw a soul

my laughter never heard a friend 

it seemed only my eyes stayed the same.

green. 

I wish someone had been there that day 

to tell me the truth 

to say

"that is not what these things mean."

His turned back is a waste of space

his shrugged shoulders is a waste of human thought

his half-hearted "okay" was a waste of human emotion

He was not worthless

But he was treating me worth less than I was

so no 

there is nothing okay about "okay

when said that way.