Lost boy

I laugh and i grin,
I Cheer and i boast
As i sin and sin.
Fearless, though and also ageless,
I tear through the grips of life 
Feeling great and cageless.

I never ask for help, instead i take
I Laugh, grin and sin,
as my mothers heart ache and ache.
Please stop!, she cries be decent,true and clean.
Not as you are now, dark,dirty, angry and mean.
I lash at her before she finishes to speak,
Being true and decent is only for the weak!.

As I storm out into them large open fields,
a loud broken shout from the porch is revealed,
Son you are only still a boy, young and foolish
A human without a course,dazed and clueless.
Every night i pray for that you will be forgiven, that someday you will be with me up in heaven.

I drink my flask of whisky showing at all no care,
How dare she speak to me whose boundless and bare.
6 years has gone since she has past away,
Far away i stand under a sky of black and grey.

I stand and i remember the last she said to the nurse,
 Please forgive my boy he follows his fathers curse.

I stood and gazed across the road and sore,
A girl being attacked by four men maybe more.
I walked over to the men i stood and i said,
leave her alone and pick at me instead!.
The group piled at me i kicked,punched and bit,
We were not long covered in blood,glass and spit.

At long last the gang scurried away,
and the girl was saved on that winters day.
I noticed my stomach was numb and sore,
As i looked down i quickly fell to the floor.

I lay under that winter sky with the knife still in me,
I felt no cold or warm only the girl now free.
As the sky began to fade to black,
only fear is what i lack.
As I slowly started to slip  away,
I heard the lonely girl begin to say.
Sir thank you for what youve done!,
I know a mother would be proud of her son.