Forgive Me, I Beg

Kurt Philip Behm

I said goodbye today….

saying for months

what I’d been trying to say

 

Alone in the throng

staring down at the hole

they had laid you upon

 

I remember

the laughter

and the joy that we shared

 

I remember

the promise

that we made on a dare

 

“Never

to end up like this,”

we had taken the same vow

 

Each

empowering the other

to end it before now

 

I could not

pull that plug

or flush down that drain

 

The guilt

hanging heavy,

the memory left stained

 

I hope

you now see me

from a much better place

 

And take pity

on my failing

my one great disgrace

 

The backhoe

is coming,

the mourners have gone

 

Please forgive me

I beg,

I’ll be with you before long

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2018)

 

 

Prison Of Time

 

She wrote into my dreams

the first line of a nightmare

 

And I can no longer sleep

in fear of the next line

 

She ran away with all hope

that one line to haunt me

 

Each new second an hour

—in this prison called time

 

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2018)

 

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Comments5

  • FredPeyer

    Sad and regretful, touching on something not many people want to talk about. Maybe because of fear? Of fear of failing? An incredible poem that makes me question myself. What would I do? Would I be strong enough to hold my promise?
    Kurt, this poem is a lot deeper than it looks.

  • Kurt Philip Behm

    Thanks Fred. I buried my best friend of 49 years yesterday. We had both made that promise. He died a long and terrible death from cancer, but his wife was holding onto every day—even when he was comatose.

    I'll forever wonder if he would have kept the promise if things had been reversed.

    Kurt

  • Fay Slimm.

    Such a sad but beautiful write Kurt - your pen captures all the feelings of loss after battling with the scourge of cancer. My condolences to yourself and to your friend's family.

    • Kurt Philip Behm

      Thanks Fay. I appreciate the condolences.

      Kurt

    • Laura🌻

      Kurt,
      This is too relatable! I’ve attended too many funerals of young and old! Cancer doesn’t discriminate! It’s a horrible disease to deal with! My heartfelt condolences for the loss of your friend!

      ~Laura~

    • Lorna

      Cancer and any lingering death changes everyone around it........ when I think about being afraid of dying though I always remember the people I loved who have died and say to myself "if they can do it, so can I" ...... wherever they are is all right with me. Especially if it ended their anguish.



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