poetboy5454

Belief

A single word

Struggling to contain the vast shifting array of emotions breathing and bursting at that word's seams

Struggling to hold the waves of frustration and moments of loss and being lost from that dream

Struggling to grasp the hope overflowing alongside despair and the persistence based on nothing but a word, a single word

The word too easy to say and difficult to follow, often slathered in dirt and grime until even less than an inch can still shine through

That word

A single word

There to define the limits

Of me and you

Comments1

  • poelove

    its good to see young writers striving to hone their craft. I love the thought behind this poem they show your potentials but now (since this is a writing sight) I would like to give some constructive criticisms...
    Poetry is the best words in their best place. so I would say try to condense your words looking for the best word every time for example the first verse could read

    A single word
    struggling to contain
    vast shifting arrays of emotion's breath...bursting the words' seams

    Struggles to hold
    waves of frustration, moments of loss---and so on. By removing a lot of the articles words like (the)
    just a little advice from an old man.

    • poetboy5454

      This is useful advice, yes the repetition of article words really drag the poem along. Though I used the rather long lines to almost parallel the concept of it being impossible to contain, and I intended for them to move quickly and smoothly but as you stated the article words held them back quite a bit. Overall, thank you for this criticism and I shall be sure to put it to use!



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