I’m fine

I’m fine
Those two words that one lie
That bring me closer over the edge
I’m fine
Waking up at 2am
Disgruntled
Confused
And sick
Not know who I am
I’m fine
Lying about this to see who my real friends are
The ones who see past my mask
The ones who know when I’m messed up and shaking
Slightly crying hiding my cuts and scratching at the scars until I can breathe again and actually
BE fine
To be able to breathe without a sigh
And see the world with happy eyes
To get up out of bed and do something with my life
I’m fine
A mask
A book
A cover
Unshowing of it’s true contents
Contents if horror and destruction
I’m FINE
I SHOULD BE
I HAVE THE PILLS
Faking a smile
Worse than ever
Could be done before
But nothing could be make me feel better
Then the red eyes
And the red blood
Will finally show me who I am
My life cut down by other people’s judgement
They say I should be fine
So I’m fine
I have to be fine
Am I allowed to be fine
I’ve only ever dealt with it by myself
Waiting for someone to figure it out
Your supposed to see the white light when u die
But u come close to that and all u see is nothing
Big black empty nothing