My personal deja vu

This must be what third degree burns feel like
Stinging every skin tag I've created
With strawberry sauce dripping down
Not enough to melt out but to require help
And I sit here staring at each mistake
Both arms, both thighs there's no more space
And each cut dependant on size
Is a mistake or curse I've commited in life

I swear somewhere I've been here before
Each day a new square I seek to destroy
By next Sunday I'll have no space left
By next Monday I hope to be dead
With a porcelain smile on my dolls face
Each battered limb flung is disgrace
No more you could do to save me
I've been planning this for months

We both now know this'll happen again
I've done it for years
She's my new best friend
Whatever good I seek to destroy
Four years I've screamed wolf Covered in fur
Would it be bad of me to succeed this time?
Previously you've held me back, hair of hope
But no all I see is darkness. Dark. Dark. Dark

Don't scream at me you're hurting my ears
I'm no longer dependant
I cut my own vegetables
I think if I were one I'd be a cauliflower
Tasteless and bare
Come to me now and we'll be happy
Lying somewhere in clouds and laughing
And maybe, maybe, you can cut- my hair