Strength

I use to know her. She use to be so sweet. She had the warmest hands when she brushed them on my cheek. 

Her laughter was contagious. There was so much life in her eyes. Everyday was magical when we were at each others side.

Years went by so fast. We were each others person no matter what. Any hurt, chaos, or happiness we knew where to turn too.

You had so much energy and so much passion for this life. You were the who always made life easier and saw the sunlight through the dark clouds.

You were reliable to a fault. Putting others before you every time. I was in awe with how active with you were. You'd be there a moment then poof you were gone.

You slowly started changing as madness hit your brain. Sleep stopped being your friend and at times it as if you were insane. 

Life was moving faster and the more erratic you became. Never seeming to need a break. We all knew it was exhausting.

Chaos was more frequent but you seemed to keep it at bay. Now a few years later, I don't know if I know you anymore.

Your life changed forever. You're a slave to these tiny pills. You can't handle what you use too. There's no way to go get around that.

The life is occasionally still in your eyes when the madness isn't quite there. Your laughter will be contagious but sometimes it's all you can bare.

You struggle to get through most days. Being consumed by what's eating you. The people you thought were in your corner have abandoned you.

You white knuckle through most situations. Knowing that you are strong. At nights when you are alone, you curl up in a ball. 

You care until you can't breathe and vow to be better. That you won't let this demon consume you and no one will know the difference.

But it's harder than it seems and down on the floor you go once again. Picking yourself up like before is harder and you search for any friends.

There's no one with their hands out this time. The chips are all over the floor. You much grab the ones that will help survive and throw the rest out the door.

You get your strength to look in the mirror and see how much has changed. You aren't the woman you use to be.

In fact that woman looking back, is me.