Cynical Clock

Am I a coward for not living in the now
Where my past is my present and scars are not found.
Open wounds are only visible
Tormented by the constant struggle of my mind so cynical.
To end what I didn’t choose
Is a mind fuck going ,back and forth, a place where I always lose .
Sudden urges to overcome and break free from these chains
My mind , my true self begins to corrode my inner strength.
Molded by my upbringing shaped my experiences
Did my parents not think of any consequences.
Cycle of abuse has become my present clock
My mind is a key without a lock .
Just ticking away with no time to tell
Living on earth in my own personal hell.