Affection

You only love her when she is on the brink of suicide. You only care about her when she is about to down a medicine cabinet filled with pills. You only tell her you would miss her after her wrists are numb and bloody from the razor she drove into her skin. Maybe, Maybe if you told her those things before she has those thoughts, before she makes those scars, maybe she wouldn’t feel like that at all. But there you are. When she tells you that she isn’t going to do it today you say “good” and ignore her the rest of the night. why? Why can’t that beautiful girl who is just seeking, begging for your love and affection be good enough for you all the time?