Borderline

Inhibited and castaway
And all you said is bye
All the blackmail i will tell
My thoughts and my lies
If you won't go I've succeeded
Who cares if you're exhausted
You cannot leave me now,
My brain is distorted
With fear clouding all judgement

Oh beloved sunshine and roses
I hate you more than
Jews hate Hitler
You're so perfect in every way
As pure as a virgin
Though you've fucked me both ways
You make me whole by saying hello
Break me apart why do you hate me so
I promise I'll never let you go

A capricious mind
Fucked than any other
Tie a shoelace round my neck
I'm starting to like my shoulders
What personality is one so unsafe?
I'm starting to hate my shoulders again
What purpose do i have
No reasons to live
I don't know who I am

Now I'm uninhibited what is this brain?
All this anger on  each leg
Just to take the pain away
And each sweet pill will make me better
I won't look in each direction
I'm hoping it to end in disaster
Don't care if I'll be in danger
A day closer to death
Is my life saver

Compunction and pity hit each day
Each sin has a name
A scar on my leg
How many pills can I take in one day?
My record is twenty
Breathing heavily
I'm getting inventive with each day
How long would it take
To take out my head

Your atomsphere makes me happy
You've gone and left me
Bleed out quietly
All this stress all this changing
It's killing me  crying
Whilst laughing so happy
Do you see why I'm so dependant?
I need your constant rays of warmness
Maybe then I'll stop swinging this rope

vacantness, my shells for rent
You can inhabit my body
Nobody's there
I don't get get why I go swinging
To feel inhuman
Just a vessel to some sort of demon
No words describe how lonely
Not even darkness
Just full blown barrenness

How dare you fucking do this to me
I can't stop screaming
Desolation in my soul
I'll smash every window if it
Takes away the pain
Curse you all while I scream for help
And all of those bruises
Because you test me
Unreasonably lighting fires with sticks

troglodytic it sounds
No words are spoken
Sat here alone, no one even listening
Foggy outcast in the horizon
I'm confused to how this started
None of you get me
Am I really not human?
I'm still blind, can't see through mist
A sensory overload
I'm Borderline deranged.