Uncertain Hope

They tell you you're worthless
You're better off dead
It's certainly not the worst thing they have said
Grab the pills up off the shelf
The world's better off if you kill youself
Why even try
There's a better way out
Better than the life where you scream and shout
For one person to hear exactly how you feel
One just to tell you what your feeling is real
When the lining of your brain
Fades into grey
and nothing else is really left here to say
When your entire world just fades to depression
And nothing exists but therapist sessions
Then one day, the ground you walk on
The only thing you really knew you could count on
Falls and shakes
Everything breaks
You fall into your darkest sickest place
Where nothing exists but demons and torture
All the stereotypes expected of culture
Skinny, pretty
Thats whats in
Anything else we consider a sin
That's not what matters though
This is something to know
Yeah I may not be full of hope
and I certainly have no right to gloat
But I know in my chest
my heart beating is beautiful
And no my voice isnt magically wonderful
Everyday I look in the mirror, I see myself
Some days I wish I looked like someone else
Then I make myself look a little longer
and with every second self worth gets stronger
No my nose isn't perfect or best
and my hair this morning looks like a mess
But my eyes shine bright like a thousand stars
I realize it's because my demons are gone
They left for now since I feel so beautiful
Maybe in a while it will all seem futile
Though I'll always find myself back to this place
My eyes shining bright and pride on my face
They'll never be gone twenty-four seven
Or even once a day ten past eleven
but I'll always tell them get out of my head you didnt hear a single word I just said
I said I'm beautiful head to toes
Especially my heart and even my nose
So I'll take my knife and put it away
I honestly feel really good today
I put those pills back on the shelf
Cause I know they aren't the better way out