Cut throat

Jo Middleton

I'm nobody's princess
Have no one to hold me up
You don't have to reply if you want
I get that it may hurt
To feel useless with nothing you can do
All I wish to do is please you
But yet still I'm on my own
Unable to force your hand

I'm more blood than skin
Every surface area is a sin
I wish to wash away the pencil lines
But I wouldn't know where to begin
They've become a part of me
Like a badly drawn tattoo
I swear it'll be the last time
Until I mess up again

I wish I could cut down to the bone
Watch them collapse beneath me
Name every fragment if you want
All I wanted was too look pretty
Yet no body notices
Thinks I'm perfect as I were
If I were that my thighs wouldn't be flat
Fat sickening every curve

For my third issue I address you brain
What's going on up here?
Maybe, Maybe he'd love me
If I weren't so insecure
I want to be normal
Just to win him back
You're connected to my nervous system
Paranoia kicking in

I know it's loveI feel for you
Even though I'm obsessed
Remember that peach green hill?
We'll both be there one day
You can finally loveme
And refuse not to stay
Take me in your loving arms
Reassure me that  I'll be ok

I don't need your pity
There is non anyway
Thank you for reminding me.
Why i want to kill myself
List 'em by the bucket
And I'll add more scars
They say you went too far
Only the truth cane out after all

Finally my razor blade
 held up to my throat
Ready to cut a smile in
And hope that I choke
Drop it into cold water
The cycle repeats again
Never never ending
A loss of words and understanding

  • Author: Jo Middleton (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 13th, 2018 17:53
  • Category: Sad
  • Views: 29
  • User favorite of this poem: Cynthia.
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  • Jamie

    "Ready to cut a smile in" That is beautifully gruesome! Gruesomely Beautiful!

    • Jamie

      Not that I would want anybody to do such a thing, I just mean it does a great job of expressing a sadness so deep that happiness seems to only be found in the edge of a knife, fatally.

    • Jamie

      But the saddest part, therefore the best, because it's a sad poem, not because sadness is best...
      "I'm nobody's princess
      Have no one to hold me up"
      I found it instantly and infinitely lonely.

    • Jamie

      "I'm more blood than skin
      "Every surface area is a sin"
      I also find this profoundly expressive, suggesting you have scarred yourself extensively which is a sort of self inflicted penance for not being worthy only to feel even less worthy for having committed such a crime against yourself, and all because of having forgotten that the pain that started it all wasn't even your sin, but a sin against you; and not knowing that even the ugliest violations could never diminish the value of your precious beauty!

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