My existential crisis

We all say that we are created by god,

by big bang,

but we hardly know about our Sea,

we hardly know about the large universum.

Our work we put into the planet can be destroyed in seconds by natural disasters.

What is the point to do work if we are just going to be judged by a teacher,

what is the point to work so hard if all our work can be thrown into the trash.

What is the point to be first of millions to create something new when there is already someone doing that part of the job already right now.

To create new life,

to create new inventions there is no point.

We learn to create something new,

but we work and work until we stressed and want to throw every away and cry themself to sleep.

The only way to ask questions and answers is to know the thing itself already.

How are we supposed to know life if we don’t even know what it is really,

life what is life?

A living thing?

A moving object?

what counts as living,

what counts as death?

Our free will is the only we own,

our own determination,

we use it because we have a will to something but what?

We as humans throw away and take away,

we keep doing this over and over again.

We love and hate,

we wage war where we bury sons and in peace we bury fathers.

In history we created Heroes and Villains, being remembered as a monster by your enemies and later your allies.

Who is who after a lost war?

Who is who after a won war?

We used to wage war against each other we remember them but we just carry on,

not having any feeling of how much that actually means.

People dying in medieval warfare and later WW1 and WW2,

people protecting their countries for the better good and fight for the worse.

We have it remembered in the books and computers but how many do we remember?

how many names do we remember?

All their work,

all their efforts was not forgotten.

We remember the war and the countries but not all the soldiers,

some soldiers was lost in the war without name tags,

being  forgotten in a endless void forgotten and lonely.

What is the point of fighting for religious faction if it goes against god's rule to kill another person,

another human in blood and skin.

We can’t bend the rule of a god,

that people follow with their free will.

Some people believe in a god that might not even exist,

but yet we believe in it,

everyday we have it in the heads that something close to god exists,

we pray when we need it, even if we aren’t believers.

It exists in our minds that an existence is there.

This unknown identity exist in our minds in a mental state but not physical state,

we can’t see it or hear it,

we just feel it.

If god really exist then this is just cruel for him,

everyday he hears the prayers of believers for forgiveness and help and so on,

not only that he have seen wars for millions no maybe billions and trillions,

nonstop.

He can’t help either side,

is up to their faith where their road ends.

The mental stability that is needed to watch things over and over,

War and Peace and War and Peace.

It repeats and he or she hears and sees this all day and all night,

not from heaven, not from hell.

From our own perspective,

I was told we were a reflection of god.

A reflection of the strongest, smartest,

fastest being on the whole universe.

We are told in school we can become anything,

but how are we if the teachers and homework and others things in our life path stops us to continue,

hinders us to continue.

Big bang in my beliefs is a big ball that was combined by all stars and planets to recreate the world, because everything already existed.

Knowledge,

Strength,

Faith and other stuff but the universe goes over and over.

Every big bang everything goes into gas,

then suns,

then planets and after that life and after that all objects will be dragged in again to recreate a new universe, a new loop,

a new existence.

All we humans are cells,

gas and mass,

we are all created by smalls things and have complicated systems that are automated in our bodies.

We are not fully control of our bodies,

we are like robots that were put together with an AI to learn about ourselves,

our world,

we are nothing more then stardusts.

I could have completed my homework but i didn’t,

because i lost all my motivation and determination for a future.

All i will be is stressed and depressed,

also full of Anxiety.

All of us have different mental and physical improvements,

we also have different pasts and future,

different perspectives and minds.

For everyday that goes anyone could have literally killed themselves and we would judge that person as a coward.

Is something we should be against yes,

but how can we judge a person that died.

Calling them a coward,

for giving up.

We are all different and we are all scared of something.

We all have limits, our limits are based of our friends,

our families and our activities we do and the people we meet.

We live for years slowly dying of aging,

smoking and etc.

There is nothing wrong with that,

we question ourselves sometimes,

but what is the less painless way to die?

what happens after death and so?

We have religions that says there is after life,

to make you feel safer.

Some religions believe in reborn and some just say ‘’we stop existing and end up in a void’’.

Our perspective is different but we all look at life in peaceful and brutal ways.

There is nothing called fully lasting peace,

we are neither at conflict forever.

We are like yin and yang,

there is always something good and bad,

the good and bad also exist in each other.

Why do people create different things,

because we have questions and answers that gives us ideas and if we fail them we improve to create something much more in life.