Testimony

These words I speak daily
Come certain and then unsure
I question myself frequently
But then I return

You see I wake and I walk
Like the people all around
I question our existence
Whether or not it’s profound

Are we here for a purpose?
To explore?
To be loved?

Are we even your creations
Or just hazardous waste
From explosions in space?

Did I come from a monkey
I’d say I think not
I come back around
And start to think rationally
Why do I believe in what I believe?

Was it forced onto me by my family or friends?
I’d say yes, maybe a bit
At least as a kid

But I ran from God
as far and as long as my body and sanity could handle
And that’s when it all really unraveled

Sexually abused as a child
By my eldest sibling no less
Addicted to pornography
Buried in crippling anxiety
Losing my sanity

I was all alone
the dark was closing in
Could I ever be forgiven
for all the things that I did
Could I find love
Would I survive
The answer was yes

Because God was right by my side
Couldn’t see it then, blinded by strife
But I look back now
And I see how he saved my life

I have seen miracles
I have my proof
I did my own research
and I got to choose

I believe the earth is flat
I believe Jesus is alive
I believe God and Holy Spirit are helping me thrive

I know what I believe and it can’t be taken from me
I’m glad that you also get to choose freely
In the ways that you perceive things
Because you See
The Lord I serve
He loves you
Even if you don’t believe!