Harpoon Loouey - Pseudonym Pen Bukowski

  although just a pint size Notre Dame  hunched quarter back       with rock solid state frame Pen (short for pennilessness),         a generic cents less game
some dime a dozen       day late dollar short left lame leg quarter back       reminisced to the regular name mass a chew sitz       bay thing ghosts of shame

full gory days his       unbridled victories on the grid
iron, what he lacked in stature,       he more than hid
as stealth weapon         compensated as air tight lid,  when getting hold of pigskin       grasped for dear life      after he instantaneously       morphed into octopus squid   as his tentacled suction-cupped fingers       dug into the thick  leather as if going       on whale'n expedition       after he did slick
his harpoon, this smirking,        eponymous, notorious,       and villainous sea sunned       marine monster (he proudly and quick lee happily posed atop cetaceous creature       moments prior to prick king the infamous Moby Dick,   which briny deep exploits landed him a gig  as one super (albeit pint sized) athlete,       plus adept at performing an Irish jig,  whence (by George) his polymath 
"Twinkle Toes" Shaw man ship agility         spread be yon male pig  former and latter noms de plumes       hash-tagged, and etched       on his tombstone after 'til rig
or tenon mortise peri wig   gulled last living breath of salty air
after exhausting simony lick kits bare meanwhile, forever refining       blubbering profane words crystal clear   aware that his demise could occur,       perhaps during exploit far out to sea       with salty water everywhere, thus this thick raunchivist         master bait catching fear some skipper known in whirled wide webbed       under water world,       cuz rumor did hear
auld his death defying exploits infiltrated         into the most remotely secluded lair asper rugged crunchy captain       who didst dare  the devil with dirty deeds         done dirt cheap, which flair  subjected suffered gross distortion       due to optical glare pandemonium ensued, sans each small hair
  along backbone viz zit ting spinal tap vie  tall hetty to rise       a flickr ring shutterfly   more years than anyone could reckon, even Pi   Tha Gore Ass, hence       mystery fed legends, 
     any rhyme or reason asper       ruddy faced weather beaten       expert, who sailed every square inch       of the globe well nigh   cutting down to size mythologized       outrageous Leviathan sized monster       mashing machine with jaws of steel       that did wonders for the tourist industry the my tee buck reared, snorted, twittered no lie   as truth told by Ishmael,       whom aye did befriend  (said galley hand decked the halls,       of christened ship Pequod),       who strongly attest didst descend, despite incontestable stance,       sans supposition,            aye aver Captain Ahab       DID NOT perish at sea,       thus, his privateer life       did not meet a cruel end, but believe his doppelganger incognito       body double electric reincarnation fiend   actually said peg legged swash buckling adventurer of the high seas, 
     that saline mosh pit - by gosh
(hee...hee...hee       how blimey lame such archaic balderdash   (anyway...i gotta hunch), ghost       of spirited sailor lives incognito,       here at 2 highland manor       a this bucolic schwenksville,       pennsylvania enclave.