Lonely

By definition, one whom is experiencing loneliness
Would be feeling sad due to seclusion or a lack of friends.
But I don’t understand

 

When I was lonely there was people all around
When I was lonely I was in the midst of relationships
I even had close friends on whom I could count
I had family that would check on me
And I would hang out with most anybody

 

When I searched for fulfilling sociability
I was successful in half
Easy going, a great listener, and always down to chill
But inside the empty darkness was never full for real

 

There were moments of deep deception
I convinced myself to believe
I was not alone and I didn’t feel empty

 

I would search in sex to no avail
I would seek in drinking and drugs but that just wasn’t for me
I would try to cry the emptiness away as if my tears would fill the gaping wound
But the blackness was growing too fast, too soon

 

People would see me and wonder how I was so happy
Envying me while I was decaying from hating myself

 

So what is missing from this definition of loneliness because it’s not fully explaining!

I believe True loneliness comes from a lack of love, true and genuine love

 

The kind of love that could only come from a father
The kind of truth that comes from knowing that your life actually has a meaning and a purpose
The kind of love that never fails
Like the love of The Savior who died for me to get well

 

You can get temporary fixes
in encounters with genuine people
A hug from your child
A kiss from your spouse
A call from a friend
But in the end people are only people
Jesus is the only One who has ever loved me without fail!
I chose him and my blackness has begun to go away
He tells me that he loves me every single day
Good or bad I know he’s always there
I am so free from my cage of lonely that I felt I needed to share!