Breathless

Why can’t I breath?
As I lay down staring at my ceiling until 4 am with my heart racing faster than my mind can keep up with, drowning myself with thoughts of what I should’ve said and done I wonder
Why can’t I breath?
As I’m walking to class with my playlist on shuffle thinking today is going to be different and then suddenly that song comes on. That one. I think of you I suffocate myself with thoughts of you my airways are blocked by you my mind is flooded with you my heart is under construction bc of you but I still wonder
Why can’t I breath?
And I know why. I ask myself but I know why.
Because you took my breath away and you never returned it
because they way you left so suddenly never gave me the chance to take back what was rightfully mine and now I’m frantically trying to find it banging on walls feeling claustrophobic screaming for help inside my head but never aloud because suffocating in silence has just become so normal to me.