Keep trying

You try and try until you can’t succeed at faking,
The emotions within are turning and shaking.
The smile on your face, has been left at the door,
Forever off your face, wiped away forever more.

You tried your damn best, to keep the smile stuck to your face, but never did you picture this as your fall from grace.
You pace and pace, trying to deny it’s true,
Lying to yourself through and through.

You squeeze the test, until the plastic turns to nothing but crumble, and rehearse your lines in the mirror until you no longer stumble.
You see staring back at you, a ghost of yourself, just another empty soul in a jar on the shelf.
You now run the tap, and feel the cold on your hands, who is doing this to you? And what is their plan?

You stare at the toilet, the seat still upright, and feel the lump in your throat grow bigger and tight.
You rip at the cardboard of which the bad news has come, and hide it at the bottom of the bin when you’re done.

And you sit emotionless, in a trance in your chair, and anxiously twist and play with your hair.

How come it happens to so many other ladies?
Why can’t I just be blessed with a baby.