to: simon

let’s talk about love, simon

this book that so many hands

have held and worn smooth

places on the cover

pages all creased from

countless readings

 

this book that became

a movie with witty

posters about coming out

and rainbow emoji hearts

as a way to advertise the

opening of doors upon

the realization that

love, simon is

a dearly needed piece of

media that gives queer

people a happy ending

 

and sitting in the theater

first with my grandmother

and then with my sister

i cried many times

 

for myself

for my friends

and for all the queer people

that have not lived to see

a movie like this

 

i was almost one of those people

because in national studies

40% of transgender adults have reported

attempting suicide

and 92% of those individuals reported

having attempted suicide before

the age of 25

 

i was almost one of those people

i was almost a statistic

because 5,000 lgbtq youth

take their lives each year

and 500,000 lgbtq youth

attempt suicide

 

so many movie theaters

could be filled with all these

people that didn’t make it through

who they were to become who they

were meant to be

because the world is a hateful

and hurtful place to those

that are different

 

but there is always a light

sometimes found in the pages

of a book by an author

that is not queer themselves but

puts the effort into listening to

lgbtq people and making that story

as true to their experiences

without any of the

pandering or queer-baiting

or the goddamn fetishization

 

and i saw that light

when i looked over at my

sister and there were tears

in her eyes and she

grabbed my hand so hard

that it hurt

 

and i saw that light

when the people sitting

next to us clapped

as the movie ended

 

and i saw that light

in simon and how

scary and painful being

unsure of how to come out can be

because people will look

at you differently

they always do

 

but that’s okay because

you’re not doing this for them

you’re doing it for you

you beautiful sunbeam of a person

so lay down your scars and

sharp edges and come sit

next to me and hold

my hand if you want to

if you need to

 

because we are alive to

see this movie

to finally exhale that breath

because we survived

who we were

to become who

we are meant to be