A churning in my soul (For reasons I don't know)

For reasons I don't know,
I'd rather be judged a fool today
while my damnedest efforts sail astray
than imprison my heart and my soul away.
For reasons I don't know.

For reasons I don't know,
I'd rather sit and play a hand
with the  smarmiest dude in all the land
and risk my life being short and grand.
For reasons I don't know.

For reasons I don't know,
I'd meet the bear charging from her cave
over the safety of the cottage, where I'd miss the grace
that our God, that raving lunatic, gave.
For reasons I don't know.

This pull to chase some star unseen,
to wrestle with life's mysteries,
to dissolve contentment in my being,
is a treasure unknown to me.