Lyrics

Carmine



I’m so fucking down and beaten down from my emotions and feelings, i can’t sleep and i can’t dream.

Nothing in this goddamn world can help me, all the advice i get is count all the sheep until i sleep.

But there is a  fucking problem, i can’t see any goddam sheep and even if i could i would always miss one and that one would be the sheep that needed the help the most.

But was too late to save.

 

I’m just gonna start out saying sorry to that sheep, sorry to a thing that could have been living a better life than mine.

Living a life without hearing about drama and shit.

A life not being me, A life not being like the Angel Gabriel hearing about everyone's problem.

I ain’t no Angel and i ain’t no priest to hear your prayers.

But that does not mean i would leave you alone friend.

My mind is fucking stupid and i can’t say a goddam word to help anyone, but i can stay and give you comfort until my dying breath.

 

My name is Daniel

Daniel is just a fucking fake name, being weared as a mask to hide my real identity.

all i am and all my name stand for is judgement before judgement day.

I’m being judged by god and everyone.

but i’m judging everyone before doomsday.

this is mental and insane but what can i do, i’m only losing my mind over shitty pity that i have for everyone.

I hardly know what’s going on anymore and i have hardly any motivation for myself.

My only reason for living is my family and friends, because i know some would miss me.

But i would literally kill myself if they all were gone, from my heart and soul.

No matter how they are i always wish the best for my comrades even when i’m at the argue  to beat them senseless.

 

I’m nothing more than just a insane guy, waiting for a person to help my mind.

All i need is sleep in this  world, All i need is comfort in this world, All i need is another door.

to open my eyes, when i awaken and close my eyes, when i rest.

 

I’m always sorry for being myself and i’m always sorry for being something else

all i am is just and adapted mask that anyone can replace.

I’m nothing more than a rusty toy soldier getting replaced by the new design.

I’m old and worth more then the new soldiers, but i have lost my value in my owners eyes and have been replaced and sent back home.

A old soldiers needs rest, but that does not mean i want to die doing nothing in my country.

I rather die in another country knowing i did something for my country and the world.

 

I care about others to much for my own good, please just end my kindness.

Is to dangerous for my soul to not say no to a friend and to a family member.

My mind is melting faster than ice and my heart is breaking faster than glass.

Is so bad that i wouldn’t do shit if i get beaten even if i could win the fight.

My morals are breaking me, My words are breaking me

My fucking world is breaking me from ground level and down to hell.

 

I don’t believe in god, but i feel something's presence close to me.

Like an Angel to keep me safe from sudden death

and

Like a Demon that would fight anything to win against the odds

because this is nothing more then a board game with some dice

rolling the odds

and

praying to the RNG god to save yourself from this hellish situation.

 

This words and this meaning is nothing more then my heart and mind going lose and the more i write, the more of my sane mind is going away to the faraway land.

 

Just make my soul brighter and be my Angel with your beautiful Halo

or

Be the Demon that makes me learn everything thru experience with your fearsome Horns

 

All i need is some sleep, i can’t dream, i can’t feel.

Just beat me down until i’m dead or have risen up to protect myself.

Just make me scream to let this all out, because is driving me insane.

This feelings are making me to a warmongerer

ready to wage a war on myself

making a civil war for their different morals

the good and bad.

 

Just take my gun and blow my brains out so i finally can rest

Replacing the Magazine

Pulling the pin

put the finger on the trigger

and

wait for the moment

when you feel like shit

breaking yourself until you just press it

and

realize every mag you reload is empty

because you saw this day before the moment

saving yourself from sudden death

like a Angel whispering to you before you went insane to stop it

The Demon inside you keeps screaming rise up and fight back against this stupid things in your mind.

 

Me,You, Us are fighting until the dying breath no matter if we are strong or weak.

We will keep on fighting going boom and bam.

no matter how many fights you pick you lose

all this is a living hell until you woke up

and

realize everything is just a fucking bad dream that still continues outside.

We always think we have time but we fucking don’t, i have lost so many things because of this.

And i’m seriously fucking sorry for every broken promise and lost friend that supported me and have to deal with my shit.

The fucking problem with this is i think i can always get a new mask and person if shit goes wrong, but i can’t.

One day you have meet everyone and one day you are out of masks and jokes to tell.

I just need to accept this shit and be ready for doomsday.

Because god has a judgement

ready for me on the other side

for what i should have done a long time ago

to save everyone from the fucking hellish world around them.

 

But what can i do

I’m just one person in this idiotic world

i call home

 

What can one person like me do

Write?

Sing?

 

I don’t have any jokes like the comedian

I don’t have any lit tracks like rappers

I don’t have any paintings like artists

and

I don’t have any power like god to save this forsaken world.

 

  • Author: Sunflower of Yesterday (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: April 5th, 2018 10:33
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 15
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Comments +

Comments1

  • SLR

    Just saw this one. This feels like a lot of heartfelt raging against the imbalances of the world. We all feel inadequate to handle stuff sometimes, especially if we're hearing everyone else's drama too. This piece is very thought provoking. Good post. I hope you've gotten some sleep since then. 🙂 keep writing, keep posting.



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