She swallows her bile like a man
Hands over her mouth
Golden phlegm
Slashing her gut like a soldier
Droplets of viscera travel
Entrails at foot
She laps at bloody palms
Like a dog
Like a saint
Removing her sandals
The prophet, she speaks
The ramble of the bramble tongue
Pins pressed to pupils
Like a king
She gouges and scrapes
She stands unrepentant
She lies awake
Like her father she breathes, “More weight.”
- Author: Aislinn Wilson ( Offline)
- Published: April 11th, 2018 07:24
- Comment from author about the poem: WARNING: This could be considered graphically violent or disturbing imagery. I'd really appreciate constructive criticism on this one. I consider it unfinished. I'd like to know what isn't working here and what is.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 66
Comments3
Ohhh I've had a sheltered life. Please excuse me, I've just been sick. Not that I'm sick of the poem! lol.
Is she having a bad hair-day?! She does not seem to be having one of her happiest days - under-statement of the year?!
Bit more seriously - I don't know. I'm not really into 'dark' poems. I don't find it helpful to encourage others in 'dark' poems either.
I didn't really consider this dark at the time of writing or posting this, but I suppose it does cross into that category. A lot of imagery was intended to evoke real historical occurrences or pre-existing conventions in mythology.
Perhaps next time I should offer some form of warning. It's unfortunate to hear you had such a visceral reaction.
Oops I joked a bit. I was not sick really. Oh I see, it's partly to do with mythology.
I like it. I take it to mean the woman who must be incrediably strong. To act as a man. To be a warrior - one of her true natures. Well written really. Lovely.
That's an interesting take. Thank you much.
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