She could feel the cold rushing through her veins,
She wish she could feel the warmth again,
Her tears fall onto her cheek, she feels so alone,
She misses that place she used to call home.
She reminisces the time when she smiled everyday,
The way all her children would laugh and play,
Shed see them to School then on with her chores,
Those were the days of slippery floors.
It's 4 o clock when they come rushing in,
"Film night" shed say, they all grin,
Popcorn and chocolate, and I'd have some wine,
My kids and my Husband, they were all mine.
I never saw a problem with a drink or 2,
I only ever drank at night to get me through,
But everytime he came home, he took me to bed,
The kids got scared thinking I was dead.
But things were ok, I felt sad sometimes,
But that's why I always had a bottle of wine,
Surely if I'm laughing; that would make them smile,
But not to them, I'm just drunk and vile.
Then things turned from happy to drastically bad,
He left me, apparently I made them to sad,
And the worst part is, they went with him too,
So I packed and I ran, as that's what I do
Now I'm in sadness, the happiness has gone,
My life is full of tears, why did it go wrong,
I'm sat in the darkness, my hands are like ice,
Maybe I'm dying, I'm paying the price
The street lights flickers, time for my pay,
I hold out my cup, and they just walk away,
I'm lucky to get even a penny,
I just sit and beg, "Please spare just any"
Then a little old lady comes rushing by,
She bends down on her knees and wipes my eyes,
"MY dear, come with me, I know of a place",
Her hair was so grey, and such a withered old face.
But she's given me hope, I slowly get up,
Yet still I pick up my dirty old cup,
She takes me to a house, it looks so old,
I walk inside, out of the cold.
She turns on the Tele, I'm on the news,
'MISSING' 6 Months now, I think that she knew,
For from a distance, I hear the Police,
I panic, I scream, I just wanted peace.
She's locked all the doors, I have no place to go,
I stand there so terrified, the tears start to flow,
The doors get knocked down, I'm just standing there,
Frozen in time while they look and glare.
He stands there just crying, my children are too,
I ran away from them as I didn't know wat to do,
I felt so worthless, as I ruined their life,
I couldn't be a Mother aswell as a wife.
So I ran, and I ran, till I had run out my feet,
I found my hiding place, in a random street,
But guilt has got me now, I fall to the floor,
They all hold me so tightly, just like before.
They smile and they say, let's go back home,
We've missed you Mummy, we felt so alone,
6 Months I've been missing, yet years I was away,
Time to get help, I'll make the call today
Update
2 years have passed and their growing up quick,
I still regret all my actions, it still makes me sick,
But now that I'm happy again back with my chores,
Popcorn and sweets in hand waiting at the door.
But this time I'm on water, maybe some tea,
I'm beginning to like the new version of me,
For the first time I've smiled and not had to fake,
I won't touch that poision again, for my kids sake
-
Author:
Sarah Lee (Pseudonym) (
Offline)
- Published: April 12th, 2018 18:09
- Comment from author about the poem: I guess I have dramatized my story of my mum being an alcoholic and also how I feel sometimes as I suffer from depression so I put it all together, hope you like my poem
- Category: Family
- Views: 25
Comments3
quite the poem. a lot of meaning.
It’s not easy to fight those demons that plague us.
Keep strong!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Resa. 🙂
Thank you so much for your nice comments, it means alot to me. This is why I love writing as I can write my feelings away x
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