Actors Depression

When did feeling empty become normal?
The hollow feeling inside of black tar,
Sticky, unmoved, deep, internal,
Feeling anything at all seems bizarre,
But don’t worry it’s just actors depression

It’s a roadblock in my mind,
Creativity just stopped flowing,
I throw myself into tasks I’m assigned
Hoping, praying but ultimately knowing
That it won’t cure my actors depression

The anxiety I get everyday
from speaking, clumsiness, going outside
having friends whom, I admit I do betray,
For I have regularly lied
When I said it’s just actors depression

I don’t eat, then I overeat,
I don’t sleep, then I won’t get out of bed,
My smiles and laughs are full of deceit,
Because sometimes, I wish I were dead
For I know this is not actors depression

When will I feel?
When will I eat?
When will I stop trying to conceal
That everyday I’m incomplete
I won’t succumb to actors depression

I gave up trying to feel
I won’t rise from the ashes
I’m not a Phoenix made of steel
My life comes and goes in flashes
But I don’t give up on life - not one bit
So fuck you actors depression