When you go

But its not like I'd be shocked if you left-
My bad. I mean,
Its not like I'll be shocked when you leave.
Cause I know you will.
Everyone does.
And I wish I could say something like "When you go, stay gone, cause I'm locking the door" like I wouldnt want you back.
Like I'd be fine.

But we all know that I'll leave that door wide open,
Praying to whatever I can that you'll come back.
We all know that even though my song will come out as a broken wail,
Ill keep singing... cause you always said you like my singing and maybe you'll pass by and hear me

And although I'll never have the energy to garden again, I'll force myself to do so anyway, 
'cause maybe you'll pass by and remember all my rants about flowers and what they mean
And maybe you'll realize I kept your rose bush,
But planted bleeding hearts around it.
You'll see that I've replaced the dahilas with sedum,
And maybe you'll see me watering them one day, 
And want to help like you used to.

And although I'll never want to drag myself out of bed again or even wake up anymore,
I'll still do it, and I'll still go run every morning.
Hoping you'll see me sprinting around the block and acting like the potholes are hurdles.
And maybe you'll want to lace up your shoes and join me agian.

And although I can no longer convice myself you're here to stay,
I know that when you leave
I'll wait for you until you return.
Because I still jumped with you, right out of any plane you picked.
Because as long as you held my hand I was ready to jump, and I wasn't scared of falling.
Because as long as you were with me I was able to dance - with or without an audience.
Because with you, I felt at home.
And I'm scared of how bad it will hurt when you go cause I know the you own all of my heart and I have no part of it to call my own anymore.
Because I know, that no matter what I'm yours
And that when you go, I won't be surprised... just crushed.
So just do me a favor?
When you go, don't let the door hit you on your way out?