No one

I’m not okay but
No one cares that I feel broken they just see the mask
And no one cares that every night I break down
No one cares that I have no one to go to
No one cares that suicide is such a frequent thought for me I find it normal
No one cares that I feel so alone
No one cares that I feel so depressed
No one cares that acting everyday make me break even more
Maybe it’s time
Time for it all to just
Stop forever

I'm not okay and no one knows
I wear long sleeves, even I the summer
I say I'm fine but I'm really not
I just want someone to notice
I feel like a burden on everyone
People don't take this seriously
But I'm seriously thinking of ending this
Ending this once and for all

Laying in bed as these thoughts run through my head. I'm thinking about how I feel like I am about to be dead. What have I done?! I'm sorry for being selfish but you don't care so here I lay helpless. I wake up to a wall as my head is heavy I fall. I wake again staring at the bathtub as my ex husband asks me if I'm ok... no words I couldn't speak for I was dying as he was crying. 200,000mg of serequel pumped out from my body as I was shocked to life 13 times when I had flat lined my eyes had opened. I'm alive and I don't believe it but I'm not sure how I lived through that as I recovered I'll never do that again.