marlenawood

Addiction *take three*


Reality is a beautiful yet disturbing thing to experience. I'm holding my moms hand while shes suffocating after the plug is pulled. I fix her up as I play mortician and down goes some xanax to fuel up my ignition. Driving home I don't remember but her smell of perfume still lingers. It's the day of the funeral I'm all dressed in black but I'm not ready to speak the eulogy, as this all isn't really true to me. She's now gone no more hear and all I do is wipe these tears drown myself in swimming pools of beers and I got to get it together before shit gets to unreal.


One drink, two drink, three drink ten, the walls start to cave and I’m surrounded by men. Four drink, five drink, six drink, fifteen, my friends have gone, they fled the scene. I stumble to find a room, where I collapse on the bed. Different colours and motions, move around in my head. I’m sure I can feel someone, there hands on me. To drunk to move or speak, I close my eyes and pray for the morning to be.


I Wonder But Know Why People Want They Ice Cream And Eat They Cake Too.
Why You Can't Let Go Of Yo Greed? Because I Know You Feel You Can Keep Tha Next Around.
Why Does Life Gotta Be A Game? I Can Play 2, But I Feel Games Shouldn't Be Played. I Believe We All Should Live Freely With No Disrespect Towards Others And Not Harmin Others Mentally And Physically.
Why When You Sense I Don't Give A Fuck You Want To Try To Make It Seem Like Im Tha Bad Guy?You Throw Fits Look At Me Crazy When I Know You Either Tryna Control Me Mentally And Physically Or You Just Actin Like A Big Baby.
Why Im Still Around? I Clearly Can Say Because Of That Lil Phase Im Slowly But Surely Backin Out Of. Im On Standby When You Need To Talk Im Here And When You Got Problems I Listen.


Beautiful pharmaceutical
How I miss
The calming effect
Of your soothing kiss
You were predictable like sunrise
Every time you'd deliver
My head was stuck in the sand
With regards to my liver
It's only been two months now
But how I miss...
The warmth of your glow
Your reassuring bliss
The occasional memory lapses
Were a small price to pay
For quick firing synapses
That I relied on everyday
​​​​​​
I could see in the shadows
Hear over the din
​​​​​​But soon after you left.......
That's when the fog rolled in
What I would now give to hear
The sweet pop of your blister pack
You were the chiropractors touch
To an aching back
You combined like an enzyme
With the chemicals in my brain
Insecurities and insomnia
Were the beasts to be slain
Now self doubt builds
Until the point where I can't stand it
I feel naked and afraid
Without your pale blue comfort blanket
You kept me well balanced
My negative emotions under control
Without you I am incomplete
An arse with no hole
Out of place and ridiculous
Like a cow with no udders
Changing my skin like a Chameleon
So as not to offend others
So I secretly yearn for your safe return.... ​​​​​
If you were to return now
I'd have everything to gain.....
And everything to loose
Someday we'll meet again
My best friend
My muse


Strong people get tired like the weak, it be days when we try to keep our problems discreet. Some days we find some to bring us to peace, we know happiness and peace is the key.



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