Holding Me Hostage


My depression brings out the worst in me.
It ruins my relationships and makes life near impossible to live. Taking a bulldozer and running over everything and everyone I care about, destroying everything I have and love. My depression doesn't care, it wants me to self destruct and lose. My mind a battlefield, chaotic and dreary. Depression drags me under into the darkness, holding me hostage. I am like the puppet and it's the puppeteer. Life just feels so hopeless and everything is out of control. Depression makes me hurt, hurt more than just myself. Anger and sadness run through my body as if it was alcohol in my veins. I sit back and watch the boulders drop, one by one they fall. I want to tell them that this isn't me, but they forget and I can't seem to prove that. They see me as a rabid dog, afraid to talk because they need to tiptoe around the glass I broke surrounding me. I try so hard, but no results. What the fuck is wrong with me? I am cursed with this horrible disease. I can't be set free, I kill everything around me.

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Comments +


  • dusk arising

    You sound like the person i recently fell out of love with. Her condition became all that she was. Familiarity smothered the wonderful joyous person whom i saw thru her veil of illness. Maybe it was me, unable for her to sustain her joyous self around me. Maybe its the people around you enable you to maintain your depression. Maybe change could be a refreshing and positive force.

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