it's 3 a.m and i cannot sleep

It's dark and gloomy within my small room,

I lay awake and restless, listening to the shadows that loom.

I cross my heart and prayed to be alive,

Sitting on edge of my imaginary boardwalk, ready to dive.

It's 3 am and I have nothing but sadness within my heart,

For some odd reason this time of night easily tears me apart.

I think about the bridges I burned this year,

I think of my sadness and worst fear.

I think about the lies and secrets hidden from me,

My eye's burned harshly, tears were all I could see.

Thought about the chemical romance I had,

About how he lied his way out of loving me as if he was mad.

In the night you realize a lot of sad things,

How your brother only smiles when he gets the money Twitch brings.

Or when your father smiles everyday despite selling his soul to be free,

He who has always said smiling through pain is key.

 When your mother stopped raising you for a year,

After she lost her own mother so dear.

Shuffled around the house with red dark eyes,

A hollow shell filled with lies. 

Who didnt have the stormy grey eyes she once had,

But instead they were darker, wetter, sad.

It’s 3 am, another restless night,

This overwhelming sadness is just challenging to fight.

Thinking of all this rang out many sad songs,

Making me think of my ups and wrongs.

I was the only thing that controlled my fear,

The things that keep me going is looking in the fucking mirror.