Kaleidoscope

when i was little i used to play with kaleidoscopes and i used to say "i wish i had a bigger kaleidoscope so i can see all the pretty crystals" As i got older the crystals got harder and stayed compact because there are two sides to every story.  Take notice how i said the "crystals got harder" not "pretty crystals" because i learned quickly the kaleidoscope fooled me and the crystals were cold like stone and were never pretty. They grew up and bullied every one's confidence because it felt black and rough NOT iridescent. The crystals harden hearts fell short and stooped to such a level i didn’t expect it too. and i believe that at a time they were true and maybe they were right to be the way they were but the going about it was all wrong. i know i know.......it sounds contradictory to say the way they acted was valid but the way they acted was invalid. but this the only time you will understand how i think and i understand if you become confused to what i am saying but the fact of the matter is that i've come to the conclusion that we are all confused trust me. it's not a matter of understanding it is just a matter of knowing and how to say no to your younger self or how to say yes in general to how it was you that hardened and the crystal of yourself never opened again to gain the confidence it has now to speak or how to believe in yourself that you can stick up for yourself or the matter that you matter and you always will and no one can take that away from you and you were always the iridescent crystal in the kaleidoscope and you were fooled and blind to notice that you were looking back at yourself when you were growing up the entire time.