See For Yourself

I won't tell you I'm nice. 

I won't tell you I'm funny. 

I'll tell you the times I've wanted to cry for no real reason. 

I'll admit my downfalls. 

I'll share about my fears. 

You deserve to see the worst side of me before you see the side that is all smiles. 

It's no facade but it doesn't entirely make up who I am. 

It doesn't tell you that I hate being called cute. 

It won't tell you that I get in my head majority of the time, ruining good things. 

It'll tell you that I love dad jokes and puns. 

It'll tell you that I love the silly things in life. 

It'll make you believe that everything is ok. 

I'm not ok. I'm not bad either, I'm just neutral.

It's a constant battle but it feels better being neutral then having to decide what emotion gets how long they get to shine in the lime light.

Sometimes I just want to believe that it's all in my head. Though the more I do, the more it becomes clear that it's all real. 

That if I keep ignoring it, it'll all bubble over and spill into my life. 

That's not something I want but it happens and I don't think I can do much. 

At the end of the day, how you perceive me is your right. But don't expect me to play the part you've subconsciously created for me to act out in your favor.