Beautiful Thoughts

Her hair is a waterfall of flaming wheat,

Her skin a tapestry of creative expression,

Her smile, like ivory, a priceless memory in the black market of my mind,

She is the embodiment of mystery and possibility that seems to forever remain undiscovered.

 

I have never known her as they have, but I remember the captivating tension of her stare, the nervousness and fear it instilled in me, trapping my desire to reach out within my own insecurities, wishing to know what her eyes were attempting to communicate, but failing completely to understand.

 

For the longest time my thoughts drowned in a whirlpool of worry, the question of my adequacy for her always churning at its center, creating waves of hesitation that time and again smothered the flame of courage fighting to ignite inside me, and each time that flame found the strength to burn I turned to find her heart chained to another, and every time I saw that chain the flame disappeared.

 

After years of nurturing, the flame of courage finally rages endlessly within me, yet still I turn to find the chain, and a newfound distance that glares back, as if to laugh, mockingly, at the hope I’d found crumbling effortlessly before me. Yet still, I think of her. And even when it wanders my mind seems to always find its way to back to her, imprinting the beauty of her features, and the desire to know her deeper, firmly in my thoughts. I cannot say if we would work. Nor can I guess at the woman she could be. But I wouldn’t hate to see her smile and only think of me.