I don't know anything

Call me a visionary
or a vision of scary
Did that little rhyme give you the
feeling of cringe and dread
That I get when I wake up from my nightmares, voices screaming in my head
This poem is purposely hard to read and enjoy, just like my life
The only difference is my pain doesn't end in a stanza or two
Here's the ingredients to the concoction called my emotions that I'm about to brew:
Pain
Depression
Anger
Hate
And -oh yeah- don't forget the fear and anxiety
I'm so sick of the person that I try to be!
I feel like a monster everyday, non-stop
There is another thing non-stop that I wish would stop, so my body would drop
My heartbeat
What?! Is that hard to comprehend?
Take a seat, I'll be straight forward:
I WISH I WERE DEAD!!!!!!!
I'm sick of everyday, this endless battle
Feeling like herded cattle
Another brick in the wall that I wish would fall because....
I'm done with it all
And that, ladies and gentlemen, may be the last rhyme
That you here from BXM for the rest of time
(Technically it isn't because of the precedent and my few future statements, BUT WHAT WOULD I KNOW?!!)
I'm so done
You could call my life fun (at least in your head)
But if you bother to drag yourself to my funeral
In a eulogy, let everyone know that it was a tiresome dredge.