Nostalgia

I wanna give my body away to somebody else so badly, I wanna fall in love with somebody else so badly just to get over you but I can't because they either annoy me or I annoy them because I know what exactly it is I want. They can't handle my attitude and no I don't want you back because were too different now and you're bad for me but I miss my best friend I miss the guy I fell in love with I miss being able to come to you and vent when someone pisses me off and you make me laugh. I miss being able to call you when I just miss your voice I miss laying in bed with you, just laying there watching Netflix enjoying each other's presence. I miss being able to cry on your shoulder when life is stressing me out. And I know I probably shouldn't even be telling you this because you blame me for being broke when all I was trying to do was better you like a woman is supposed to do with the man she loves and you'll probably just use this all against me later when things get ugly between us again. Like They do when we get frustrated with each other and just wanna be heard. You don't appreciate me you never have, you got used to me doing things for you so you never got how important those little things were. And I got used to you, I know that and obviously now I feel that a month after we've been broken up. You were supposed to be the one, my knight in shining armour, my husband, the future father of my children and now that that dream is slowly fading I'm afraid I'll be single and alone forever because no matter how many arguments we had over little things I feel like I'll never have that bond with anybody else so now everyone after you I'll just compare to you and by that alone I'll never allow myself to be happy.