How I Feel.

Numbness and emptiness that's all i feel,

Yet despite this it's not a big deal.

I have no life, no goals or aims thanks to you,

Now i'm questioning what's the best thing to do.

I'm going crazy and i'm losing my mind,

The voices in my head they ain't staying inside.

I hear them creeping, whispering into my ear,

Yet i can do nothing, im paralyzed with tears.

Worthless, pathetic and i'm a waste of space,

Im silent, im ill,  im ugly with a fat round face.

They whisper, they hiss the major ongoing moral battle,

Good and bad, im stuck not coping, constantly grabbing at the helping handle.

Do i give up, no i sit there and i struggle,

I hold myself upright, the weight of the world making me buckle.

No i blame myself, did i do this or do i blame those who crushed me.

No i sit there, i take the hassle and i nod and i agree.

Do i continue on, do i let it define me or end it here and now?

No i don't i continue, continue and let it crush me but how?

How is it that everyone who added to it, goes on with their lives with an occasional frown,

While i'm here stuck holding my breath while in my thoughts of them i sink and drown.

Everyday you die a little but for me,

I died a lot today, i bit my tongue and let it be.

All those people who hurt me are happy being alive,

But me i fake a smile and i wake up daily and i survive.