I’ve always hated you....

I guess I’ve hated you for a long time. 

As long as I can remember actually. 

Not because of anything that you said,

Or anything that you did. 

  No; I hated you long before you had the chance to hurt me on your own.   

I hated you because you were first.

  Something I could never be.

  I hated you because she loved you more.

  And she would never say that that was true, 

But I know it was. 

  I hated you because you got more time than me.

And you wasted it. 

I hated you because you were her baby. 

Her perfect grandkid. 

And Again, that was something I could never be. 

  I hated you because I could never compare. 

She loved you this much more every time she saw you. 

  I hated you because I wanted her. 

  I wanted her to love me. 

Love me more than she did. 

Treat me better than she did. 

Hug me tighter than she did.

  Spend more time with me than she did. 

Kiss me softer than she did.

    I wanted her to love me the same way she loved you.

 Not more. 

Not less. 

  I wanted to be special I wanted what you took for granted.  

 But instead I got loss. 

And grief.  

 And you got drunk. 

And laid.   

The difference in us is this.... 

  I wanted her. 

You wanted someone.