Used to...

My heart used to race every time I saw you
I used to smile whenever I thought of you
I used to twirl my hair around my finger as I thought of you
I used to think we could be together
I used to want to kiss you
I used to think of you constantly
I used to put my self in places where I’d see you
I used to think it was safe to like you
I used to want you
I used to really really like you

But now...

Now my heart rarely races when I see you
Now I don’t always smile when I think of you
Now when I twirl my hair around my finger, you aren’t on my mind.

Now I know we can’t be together
Now I couldn’t possibly kiss you
Now I don’t really think of you
Now I avoid you
Now I know it’s not safe to like you
Now I don’t want you
Now I still really really like you

But,

You’ve broken my heart

I’m falling apart
But you can’t see that
No one can
And you will never know
What you’ve done to me

You will never know
the gut wrenching pain,
The tears that came,
The feeling of my heart breaking
The aching

You will never know what you’ve done to me

I actually stopped liking you for a few weeks
Because it hurt so bad.
It hurt as my heart was broken

But then I went back to liking you
I don’t know why
I just couldn’t stop myself

I tried to,
I tried to stay away from you
But you were so sweet
So kind
So caring
So you

And I fell for you more
And I couldn’t stop
But I knew I had to
stop
I had to distance myself

From you
A heart breaker
And a friend

And it hurt so much
I got stressed
And that turns into anger
Anger for you
For liking you
For breaking my heart
Because it’s easier
Than trying to get over you

And so I fall apart
But you don’t know
You can’t tell
What you’ve done
And it’s best I leave it that way.