I’m a Monster

I’m a monster.
I love one man
And I desire another.
I lay in his arms
While thinking of the other.
I want to be touched by him
But dying to pick his thoughts.
I can’t imagine myself without him
Yet always wonder what if.
Am I wrong to dream?
Should I settle and be faithful?
I don’t think faith is for me
But I’m afraid.
I see my wrongfully thinking
But I’m not apologetic.
Why can’t I have both of him?
This world is not made
For the likes of me
Because I’m a monster.