These Are My Words

I am against you.

In what you say and what you do,

I am strongly opposed.

I live a life far from pleasure

in the peace of a Savior

who looks on me with the grace of my God.

I am not like you

and I can’t be.

Your way of life disgusts me,

the path you’ve chosen repels me.

Yet in this extreme awareness

of your lifestyle,

I have forgotten that mine was once the same.

I am not unlike you.

I was once in your shoes.

But the beliefs you’ve forsaken

are ones I still hold

and will continue to hold

until I see you again.

For I cling to them ever so tightly

in the fear that letting go

would put me where you are now -

in a place I’ve tried so hard to keep myself from.

So if I accept your actions

for even one moment,

I am accepting that they are good

when I know from experience they are not.

I can’t fall into that path again.

I can’t do that myself.

I am not you,

and I can’t be.