Things that i know.

Things that I know.

By Silentsally

I know I can’t explain my thought process

I know I can’t explain why I act the way I do

I know I can’t explain why I’m sad

I know I can’t explain why I’m mad

I know I can’t explain when I’m happy

I know that I don’t know what makes me happy

I know that I don’t know why I’m so moody

I know I could never explain why I’m so mean

I know I can never explain why I’m so gross when I’m alone

I know I can never explain why I cry in my room at 3:30am every day

(no literally every day)

I know I can’t explain why I fall in love so quick

Wait, scratch that.

I don’t fall in love.

I get attached.

Yeah that’s it.

I know I can’t fall in love with anybody

(Its physically impossible trust me I’ve tried)

And I don’t know what It is

But I’m bipolar

That’s about the only thing in certain of

I know that.

I know that I can’t read things in one sitting because I feel like the words on the page are surrounding me and gonna eat me alive

I know that I can’t go a day without calling my boyfriend despite my parents wishes

I know that I cannot go a day without having a mood drop

I know that love is just a word and lust is a feeling

I know that if someone looks at me I get depressed

Even I get disgusted with myself.

 I know that sex is good

I know that sex is bad

I know that fear can take over your body and your thoughts

I know that my dad fears saying the wrong thing to me

I know my mom is scared because she doesn’t know what’s wrong with me

I know that she can’t control it

I know no one would expect me to not be able to control my feelings

I know that I want to cry right now but I can’t

I know I’m probably gonna have a panic attack in 2 minutes because I’m feeling overwhelmed

I know that I can’t finish this anymore.

Because I’m going to cry.

So, I’m done.

Goodbye.