Cut

When I'm alone at night & the rest of the world is sleeping, this blade is my only friend. The numbness in me craves to feel something - anything. The crazy in me tells me to go deeper; "If you do, it'll all be over." I try not to listen to it. I watch my blood drip from my wrist to the floor by the light of the moon. The moon watches me do this every night. I wonder if she weeps for me. If she secretly wants me to stop what I'm doing. The moon is the only one who knows. Sometimes I feel like she's the only one who cares. I hate myself for putting her through this. Watching my inner pain manifest itself onto my body is an addiction. I know it's not right but I'm so broken that it feels like it is. I'm terrified of the day a loved one sees what's under my sleeve. I know I can't keep this up forever. Just like my blood, the truth is going to come out. I can't keep smiling to the rest of the world when there's a universe of shame inside me. Self harm only takes you so far, but in my mind I'm traveling miles & miles away from this place.