What They Don't Know

They know that there was something
They know we were a thing
They know we were trying to stay secret
They know the keyword was "trying"

They think that there was so much more
They think we slept together
But if they knew what they never will
Their minds would be changed forever

They don't know he was using me
They don't know he was guilt-tripping me
They don't know how many times I said "NO"
They just think he had sex with me

They don't know that I felt disgusting
Every time he went home
They don't know how depressed I was
Or how I felt so alone

The rumors spread like wildfire
And a week later everyone knew
About the things they thought we did
And I didn't know what to do

I wish they knew I was manipulated
I wish they knew that I'm scarred
But I can't tell them for fear of them saying
"You just want attention, you're trying too hard."

Luckily I am in a better place
But still I wish they knew
I never wanted to do anything
That he made me do