Selfishly self preserving

I tried to say the right words.
To become the antidote to your poisoned mind.
And when I realised you were as much the antidote as the poison.
I tried to help you see that, to find it, so you wouldn't be alone.
And when you didn't try.
And as a result I inevitable failed.
And the poison moved closer to your heart.
I knew then I would take the poison, let it kill me instantly.
Not just to save you, but to selfishly cure my guilt.
As I failed you.
And as I will always fail you.
I knew then my only way, was to never reveal my poison to another.
Less they feel the guilt that consumes me, when they fail.
Or even worse are glad, or feel nothing when I no longer exist.
And then I know I placed my love, my pain, my heart in the care of the careless.
In writing this I realised, my self centred nature,
I act, always, and completely, for self preservation.
But don't we all?