good enough

I’ve never felt good enough. 

For the people I chase. 

Waiting for someone to love me is like searching for a river in a hot, burning desert. 

Feeling the sun hit my face every time you notice me. 

Feeling the painful burn of the sand hitting my body. All over. 

I started to think about you more and more, until your name is burned into my mind like a steel iron. 

I over-analyze every conversation, reciting it word by word, 

Praying I said the right thing. 

But I didn’t. 

And soon you started to get annoyed by me. 

I always know when I’m not wanted 

But I stayed. 

Yearning for the day you would come to me with all your misery. 

You slowly detached from me, as if I were last nights clothing. 

Throwing me in a basket, 

And leaving me there, 

Wondering when you were gonna wear me again. 

I never felt good enough. 

Even though I gave you my soul, you returned the favor by asking for my body. 

You called me beautiful, 

But you didn’t mean it. 

It’s always a cycle with you. 

Around and around again. 

Like each girl is just “the next one” 

The funny thing is, until now, I never realized you are not good enough.  

You are not good enough for my soul, heart, or happiness  

You pulled me down as if I were an anchor. 

I thought if I lost you my smile would be stolen from my face and replaced with a blank canvas. 

But my smile remained. 

Turns out I’m good for the right person. 

And that person isn’t you.